Hi wonderful readers! Thanks for being with us as we chat about loss.

Talk about an emotionally exhausting process! Sometimes it seems never-ending. But my hard days have turned into hard moments, where I’m slowly learning to move forward, – but not forget, without allowing my loss to consume me. I’m trying to be gentle with myself, instead of default mode kicking in – “do what you gotta do Britt and keep it movin!” In order for me to be better than yesterday, I have to actually face today! We would love to hear about how each of you deal/dealt with your own loss.

This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. Leshay McNair

    Dealing with the loss of your pet can be extremely difficult. They are not just our pets but members of our families. I found it helpful to talk about the memories I have of my sweet Lexie with others who knew her too. I also found it helpful to look at old videos and photos of her from time to time. Although these are helpful coping strategies I ultimately think that time is the number one healing instrument. Over time the wound that was left on my heart from her loss has healed and turned into a scar. The pain has diminished over time but my memories of her will forever be with me.

    1. Britt

      Very true! I agree with this comment and the coping methods you found to ease the pain. It is important to never forget by continuing to share the memory of our loved ones who live on in spirit. Thank you for sharing Leshay!

  2. Jordan M.

    As I’ve grown older, I’ve accepted that loss is a part of life. When we live fully and love deeply, we leave ourselves vulnerable to this truth. With loss comes grief, ebbing and flowing like the tide. Sometimes the pull is so strong that we feel as if we are being swept away. We drift for days with the current, helpless, without aim. Then one day, unbeknownst to us, we learn to swim again.

    The key is to keep your head above water, no matter what; even if it dips and the sea pervades your lungs, fight to lift your head again. Do this enough times and you won’t drown. Wipe the salt from your eyes and you’ll realize you’re not swimming alone.

    1. Britt

      Your imagery produced such evocation. It brings strength and peace knowing we aren’t swimming alone. These attributes contribute to personal progression of learning to swim again. Thank you for sharing Jordan!

  3. Charles

    Hello, everyone.

    And thank you for sharing your experiences; I’ve enjoyed reading each of them. Similar to many others growing up, I would often find myself overwhelmed with grief and sadness when there was any form of life loss that occurred in my circle. In certain situations, I would be devastated to the point where I was unable to function or perform daily tasks, often for weeks at a time. I’ve learned ways to handle loss more effectively as I’ve aged, which has mainly been achieved through open dialogue with others (usually my family) who have lived through similar situations. By the same token, I’ve also learned that oversharing your experiences can cause stunting of your individual emotional development, as it may condition you to immediately reach for support from others as a default response whenever something tough occurs in your life. Although I am in a very fortunate position to be surrounded by encouraging family members with whom I can engage during hardships, I try my best to always practice self-reliance first before presenting my issues to them. Following this ideology not only helps me to strengthen my own emotional intelligence, but it also allows for a more constructive discussion when I do finally approach my family with an issue; this is because I have given myself proper time to internally process the situation, as well as my emotions relating to the matter.

    1. Britt

      I can relate to your process of coping with loss. I have also learned it is best to allow yourself the time and patience with managing and overcoming loss on your own terms. Give yourself permission to feel those feelings and release them. I empathize with you on gaining the proper understanding of your emotions, aiming for solid ground. Rather, the beauty in sharing your development when your foundation is unsteady, – being presented with a different way of thinking that can aid in your personal growth. I am still learning to be more open when I am standing on shaky ground. Discovering the support from my loved ones doesn’t stunt my own advancement, instead it equips me with different tools to build a structure I can successfully stand on. Thank you for sharing!

  4. Kona

    Hi everyone! I haven’t read the book yet, I just purchased it and am eagerly awaiting it in the mail! A friend of mine directed me to the website, and I saw this blog post space. I think this is really neat thing to make available to people, to come together and share thoughts/stories. Journaling is something that’s always helped me process things. It’s almost like once I get the thoughts written down and out of my head I can stop thinking about them. There is something cathartic in writing, and I think for some people it can be especially helpful to write to people who aren’t in the situation with them. Like putting a message in a bottle! Just wanted to say thank you for providing that safe space for people. 🙂

    1. Britt

      We are so glad you found your way to this open and vulnerable space! LOVE the message in a bottle metaphor! Utilizing an outlet to release your feelings, like writing, was definitely a therapeutic journey for me. Along with the intention to helps others in the process. Thank you for sharing!

  5. Rose L

    Thank you all for being so vulnerable in sharing your stories of your journeys through loss. It is helpful to get these things out, as well as learn from others.

    I’ve experienced loss of life many times, in many ways, throughout my life. One thing I can say with certainty is it never gets easier. You never get “better” at dealing with it. Like Leshay mentioned above, I do think time is the thing that “helps” most. I don’t feel the pain/void left by this kind of loss ever really goes away, but you slowly learn to manage that weight. I’ve also found sometimes your emotions just take you down out of nowhere. Something will trigger your trauma and put you right back in the moment like it happened yesterday. Sometimes it feels good to reminisce – sometimes it’s really hard to pull yourself back up. But, the more time passes by, the better you get at managing the painful void, navigating your feelings, and getting through those situations.

    Waiting for time to pass doesn’t help at all in the moment, though. In the moment it always feels like time will never pass and you’ll be drowning under the weight of grief forever…or even like you *shouldn’t* move on for various reasons. Something that helps me is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don’t think about tomorrow, don’t think about next week or the next holiday or the next major life event….just think about the very next thing I need to do (make dinner, eat dinner, brush teeth, go to bed, get up for work, go to work, etc., “baby steps”, as it were!). Just keep moving from task to task the best I can to allow the passing of time and distancing from the event.

    Lastly, remember to give yourself grace and patience while you get back on your feet. Loss is hard and it sucks. Grief comes and goes, people “recover” at different speeds, it manifests differently in each of us; most importantly, there’s no right, wrong or direct path to healing.

    1. Britt

      So much truth! The triggers can be a struggle. Unexpected, uncontrollable waves of emotion are difficult to manage. I am still learning to navigate that process.

      I remind myself that moving on does not mean forgetting. Instead, I am also learning how to honor the ones I’ve lost. All we can do is try to take things one day at a time, just as you said. After awhile, we see our baby steps get a little easier to walk. Thank you for sharing!

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